Church of Meat

The Office

Four of us went to eat at the Office last night, which was quite a fun experience outside getting our teeth kicked in to the tune of 700$. It was pretty controlled to start out and I thought I had a good idea of how much we were spending until we got the check. I was going to try to suggest walking out and leaving Rick in there (who is now as thin as a rail) but he didn’t eat a thing as he’s a vegan, except for one large hunk of foie gras. He boasted rightfully so he’s the only vegan we can take to any restaurant and he’ll be happy as a pig, so he deserves to have a bit of a treat now and then in the form of force fed goose liver.

The bill comes hand written in a really boring color from a flex nib fountain pen that’s wax sealed, which is fairly insulting as such a high end fancy-pants place you’d think they could come up with a more fun casual thing than stuffy writing and wax seals, and that’s coming from someone who has a handful of Noodlers fountain pens.

I’ll write more tonight when I have a minute and the photos I took but I have been in so much pain this morning both from the food and beverage related hangovers of gluttony. I had an 8am meeting where one of the other three people had eaten at the Girl and the Goat the same night, so I figured they would be food hungover but it wasn’t the case. I’m just a big fat ball of foie gras and beef tartare right now. We were fat, shameful bastards when the Iberico ham plates came out, hands absolutely covered in fats melting off the muscle, as Donny pointed out we could get the weird almonds they use at CostCo.

I made Donny, Rick and Tim try some bites before we went down for our reservation and Tim got to try the slingshot drink, looking back it might have been better to do the chef’s tasting menu but the exclusivity of the basement food related sleaze-hole underbelly speakeasy was too much for us. I got Donny the Wagyu, Tim the Brioche (the best item on the upstairs menu hands down) and Rick the Potato and then we wove through the upstairs seating area while people jealously shot glares at us, or possibly were just asking “where did this white trash pride parade come from?”

First things that come to mind from the dinner is that it isn’t that impressive. The lounge is horribly laid out for actual eating purposes. It is fine for what I assume the intended purposes are, which is charming the pants off yuppies on first dates. I was way more impressed with Schwa, and that was a grouchy day for me to boot.

Was it worth it? Totally. Next time we will go to a hole in the wall all you can eat steakhouse though.